36 Songs at Thirty Six
A periodic letter to my future self, family and friends in my ongoing pursuit of #mindfulness and #openness in our era of increasing radical transparency.
I find myself becoming more reflective as the years go on. It’s probably a natural state to enter as the years wear on and I seek inner peace to anchor myself in a sort-of-inversely proportional relationship with my mounting responsibilities and obligations. The world seems to pull at you in different directions as it gets harder to slow down and think.
I grew up not being big on traditions but have gotten a lot more nostalgic; it reminds me of the “Awesome Mix Vol. 1” mixtape that Guardians of the Galaxy protagonist Peter Quill keeps close and values more than his life — anchors to our inner core as we set ourselves adrift in the vastness of Life.
I recently turned thirty six and decided to come up with a personal “mixtape” as the second[1] of my annual diaries as a way towards practising radical transparency and expect to evolve this over the years. It is like a personal speed bump that gets myself thinking and sharing outside of work stuff. It’s a lot easier since I only need to add a song with each year. I’m still debating whether I should do this once a year or once every few years (four perhaps?). Still, the challenge is in finding songs that resonate with me and the moods during those years. It’s meant to be a reminder to self, a ritual to encapsulate the sentiment during those years, perhaps even give a glimpse into my subconscious. I hope you’ll learn something new about me and enjoy the music as much as I did when compiling it.
Volume 1, Side A — from Father to Son
I grew up listening to a ton of sentimental oldies and ended up gravitating towards The Beatles, Bee Gees and Bread; the three bands that began with the alphabet “B” and are my father’s all-time favourites. In handing these songs down to me, he inadvertently influenced my perception towards love. These songs and their messages also shielded me from the rocky ties between my parents. Listening to these songs would evoke memories of my growing up years; a musical realm I disappeared into and sought solace from.
I selected these songs from a much longer list of familiar Beatles hits and arranged it this way because of how the song titles seem to mesh together:
In my life, everyday feels like yesterday; a really hard day’s night. I appreciate all the help I received on this long and winding road, but (hey) by Jude, you can’t buy me love because I’m a nowhere man. Don’t know him? Perhaps you heard of Eleanor Rigby who didn’t really belong? That’s why all we do is say hello and say goodbye, until we hear her say that she loves you which makes everything alright, and makes me want to send all my loving to you…or was it her?
- Track 1: “In My Life” by The Beatles [lyrics]
- Track 2: “Yesterday” by The Beatles [lyrics]
- Track 3: “A Hard Day’s Night” by The Beatles [lyrics]
- Track 4: “Help!” by The Beatles [lyrics]
- Track 5: “The Long and Winding Road” by The Beatles [lyrics]
- Track 6: “Hey Jude” by The Beatles [lyrics]
- Track 7: “Can’t Buy Me Love” by The Beatles [lyrics]
- Track 8: “Nowhere Man” by The Beatles [lyrics]
- Track 9: “Eleanor Rigby” by The Beatles [lyrics]
- Track 10: “Hello, Goodbye” by The Beatles [lyrics]
- Track 11: “She Loves You” by The Beatles [lyrics]
- Track 12: “All My Loving” by The Beatles [lyrics]
Volume 1, Side B — Sentimental Rebel
I don’t have any digitally accessible photos from my teenage years; to be honest, it felt like a lost era in my sea of memories. My songs of this era were more pop and rock and mingled angsty notions of love with hope and idealism as I breezed through school and army in Singapore and eventually varsity in the United States. I had flashes of rebelliousness when I skipped out from rugby training to attend computer science club in Raffles Institution, or when I disappeared for half a year from computer science club to play video games at a friend’s house every Friday, and culminating in me cracking and uncapping the upload and download speeds on my first DOCSIS 1.0 cable modem in 2002 just before I left for Carnegie Mellon. But for the most part, I was a goody-two-shoes that played (and cheated at) a ton of computer games, kept to the script and didn’t date until I was 21.
- ‘Track 13: “(Just Like) Starting Over” by John Lennon [lyrics]
- Track 14: “If” by Bread [lyrics]
- Track 15, 16: “I Started a Joke + First Of May” by Bee Gees [lyrics 1] [lyrics 2]
- Track 17: “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor [lyrics]
- Track 18: “Sweet Dreams (are Made of This)” by Eurythmics [lyrics]
- Track 19: “When Doves Cry” by Prince [lyrics]
- Track 20: “I Just Called to Say I Love You” by Stevie Wonder [lyrics]
- Track 21: “Walk Like an Egyptian” by Bangles [lyrics]
- Track 22: “You Give Love a Bad Name” by Bon Jovi [lyrics]
- Track 23: “It Don’t Matter to Me” by David Gates [lyrics]
- Track 24: “The Blower’s Daughter” by Damien Rice [lyrics]
Volume 2, Side A — from Quarter-life Crisis to James Unleashed
I went through my quarter-life crisis after returning to Singapore to serve out my scholarship. I was very fortunate to have met my wife soon after my return — the love of my life and better half. She’s been a great boon to me personally as well as our family, and has made me a much better man over the years (despite her continuing sufferance of me). My family has become my biggest motivation in everything I do.
The songs of this era begin angsty but become upbeat and hopeful. I also included Chinese tracks that had especially beautiful lyrics or powerful music; a reflection of my reconnection with the Chinese language and culture. I added jazz to my audio library while I was in Carnegie Mellon thanks to Marcus and have a few in the list. Sadly, there were many more songs that couldn't make it to this list; dang it's been a while!
- Track 25: “流沙” by 陶喆 [lyrics]
- Track 26: “七里香” by 周杰伦 [lyrics]
- Track 27: “珊瑚海” by 周杰伦 [lyrics]
- Track 28: “Wise Men” by James Blunt [lyrics]
- Track 29: “Goodbye to You” by Michelle Branch [lyrics]
- Track 30: “Breathe” by Michelle Branch [lyrics]
- Track 31: “You Set Me Free” by Michelle Branch [lyrics]
- Track 32: “Everywhere” by Michelle Branch [lyrics]
- Track 33: “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship [lyrics]
- Track 34: “Desafinado” by Stan Getz & Joao Gilberto [lyrics]
- Track 35: "Cantaloupe Island" by Herbie Hancock
- Track 36: "Billionaire" by Travis McCoy ft. Bruno Mars [lyrics]
I'll end off with a Chinese phrase quartet to my future self:
生涯自古多蹉跎，日常总归常缤纷。快活须知祸福变，乐观方可度乾坤!
The Chinese language is such an elegant form for contextual compression. The equivalent English translation would be something along the lines of:
Since time eternal, life has been known to be a drag. The daily grind can be full of verve. To live happily is to know the ever-changing nature of calamity vs fortune, and radical optimism is the only way out of this conundrum.
Phew that was quite a list to compile! What's yours? Did you grow up in the musical era as I did? Which songs were similar and which songs differed?
[1] ^ the first being my annual personal report at the end of each year
